I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
