I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
