I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
