I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
