You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
