Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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