If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
