Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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