U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
