You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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