Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
