Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
