All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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