Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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