hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
