Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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