Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
