Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
