I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
