I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize