I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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