Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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