I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize