grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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