I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
