the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
