just tell him i said nine months
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
