Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
