just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
