if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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