can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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