Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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