i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You dont lie about slip and slides
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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