I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
