so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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