I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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