Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
