His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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