obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize