Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
