i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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