...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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