You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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