"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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