So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
