Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How does it feel to date your dad?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
