He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
