I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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