My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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