Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
