Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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