This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I touched a dick in church today
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
