you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
