I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
