We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the day after is always just damage control
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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