I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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