I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
