dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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