Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
