I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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